Ah, Dating

 7JWKMVU6MQJQ
When we first decided to open our marriage, I had my sights on a friend of mine already. Of course, upon actually exploring that when I had the chance, I realized that it wasn't very realistic. He is quite a bit younger than me, single, and interested in finding a monogamous relationship. Of course he is! What was I thinking?

Then there was the guy I met out with friends, who was really more into having sex with me than talking to me or going on dates. And again, he told me that while he likes the sex, he is still looking for something monogamous and doesn't want me to get in his way. Which was fine, I wasn't THAT into him anyway in the sober light of day.

So what I've gathered from all this is that it might be slightly easier to date someone who is already in a committed poly relationship. But how does one find such a person in a big city? I've heard that there are some meet ups, but that they weren't great. Then I remembered that a friend of mine suggested Ok Cupid. I made a profile, but was hesitant to even put up a photo. What if someone I know sees it?! What if someone contacts me? WHAT IF I ACTUALLY HAVE TO MEET SOMEONE?!?! Terrifying.

But I did indeed put up a photo, and slowly put together some words on my profile. People started messaging me. Some of them were crass, some of them were sweet. Some not my type, some totally my type and handsome. And then I worried again. What if they meet me and they think I'm not as cute as my photos? Or what if I'm fatter in real life? Why am I so insecure? What if I'm TOO insecure? Oh god, why am I freaking out? They. Are. Just. People.

So, someone wanted to meet me. A single guy, but one who was open to the whole non-monogamy deal. And I went, and we drank caffeinated beverages for an hour and sized each other up and I think both realized there wasn't any chemistry. We didn't have a lot in common, or much to talk about. It wasn't awful, it just wasn't much of anything. Slightly disappointed, but not deterred, I went home and got back online to talk to some more people. I put up some more photos, and I put more words into my profile. I think the words are pretty important for finding someone who has a lot of things in common with you.

The next day I received a message from a punk rock guy who loves Twin Peaks. I, also, love Twin Peaks. I know, it's just one show, but people who like this show tend to be good people. People I can talk to. Also, he's poly, and has been at it for quite some time. We already had things to talk about, plus he could lend his experience in this lifestyle, which I have sought a lot of lately. We messaged, and then chatted, and then texted and then Facebooked. We even had friends in common. I was probably a little overzealous. He liked all these cool things, liked things that I liked! THINGS TO TALK ABOUT! I love talking about things. All that wrapped up in what came across in photos like a pretty attractive package. I tried to keep myself in check. Would this be the first time I'd meet someone online that I actually clicked with? I mean, I did a ton of internet dating in my early twenties and none of it ever went well. So I had to keep my expectations low. But it was difficult. I am an extremely impatient person, and I was dying to know: WOULD THIS GO WELL?

Well, last night, we went out. And by Jove, it went well! We had drinks, chatted about so many things and kissed a bit. It was very lovely and surprising. And we're already planning to see each other again today, which is a little nutty, but also just so much fun that I can't really seem to care how ridiculous I feel.

David is a little jealous, but I'm trying to be loving and understanding. I want to do whatever I can to make this easy on him. Because I know what it feels like. He spent the night last week with the woman he is seeing, and it killed me to sleep alone. But I managed, and now I feel ok about it. And I think he will too. We just keep telling ourselves that it is making both of us happy, and that can't be a bad thing.