This article on The Huffington Post about Anderson Cooper is an interesting take on celebrity infidelity, which I wrote about briefly a few weeks ago. Given my recent lifestyle change, I've started to look at things often similarly to the author of the piece, that perhaps when we see celebrities cheating, maybe it isn't cheating and that they just have an arrangement. I mean, honestly, they spend nearly no time together because of busy schedules in different locations, why would you want to limit yourself by being monogamous? I realize monogamy is the standard, though, and that it is much more acceptable to be though of as unfaithful than to tell people that you're actually polyamorous or in an open relationship. I do agree that it probably wouldn't be helpful to the equality movement of LGBTQ people to not only come out as gay, but then come out as non-monogamous. Just reading the comments of that article prove that, because it seems like people view non-monogamous people as sex-starved promiscuous degenerates who have detached emotionally from sex. It makes me sad, because that's not really the case for me.

I'll be honest, at first, kinda thought I was in it for the sex. I mean, my sex life has improved greatly and I'm thankful for that. But that's not really it. I realized that I truly can't enjoy intimacy without a meaningful emotional connection. That's the part that people are missing when they make comments like "Ah more gay propaganda on the healthiness of sexual promiscuity and detachment of sex from any meaningful emotion." and " But at a 50th wedding anniversary celebration, guests don't congratulate the couple for a life of sexual activity. That's just crazy!" That's just not what polyamory is about for me. I'm not detaching sex from emotion. In fact, I feel more meaning in the sex with my husband now than I did before. Just because we're trying to eliminate jealousy from our lives, doesn't mean that we are devoid of emotion. Also, perhaps at our 50th wedding anniversary celebration, we will celebrate a life full of wonderful relationships and love and our friends will congratulate us on that. I've said it before, it's not just about sex. It isn't not about sex, either. It's not about one specific thing, it's complicated, just like all relationships. Well, perhaps a bit more complicated, but I enjoy that aspect of it too. I like a little drama in my life. Not terribly bad drama, just light intrigue. Polyamory has provided plenty of that.

It just frustrates me, the way the mainstream views the concept of non-monogamy. It's so sensationalized and scandalized. My life is generally pretty tame. I'm not a degenerate, I don't do drugs, I've never had an STD, I have a normal job and am generally an upstanding member of society. But yes, I have multiple partners. And because of the way it is viewed, I can't share one of those partners with parts of my family, my coworkers and some of my friends because of the negative connotations it has.

I don't have a solution, obviously. I'm so new to this. But I wish sometimes that I could just shake people who think that it's such a disastrous lifestyle and tell them how wonderful it can be. Because it's pretty awesome right now.

Random Thoughts

I think that Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer are non-monogamous, mostly from things she has said in articles. I also think they are one of the most adorable couples on the planet, so there's that. DISCUSS.

My husband went back and read all of this blog a few days ago. I said I had been holding back in case he did, he said it didn't seem like I was holding back. I suppose I don't hold back very well. He also said that I had said something about having so much love in my life, or mentioned the word love when it relates to other partners, and it bothered him. I don't think I'll ever feel about anyone else the way I feel about him, but isn't that what polyamory means, many loves? Maybe it's different kinds of love, but I'm sure there will be love. But like I said, it'll never be what we have, because everyone is different. Every relationship has different dynamics. He's my best friend and my partner in life. I try to tell him as much as I can, but it's hard when I'm focusing some attention elsewhere.

I was feeling a little overwhelmed with things to do lately, so last weekend I attempted to recharge by spending a lot of time at home during the day on Saturday and Sunday. I'm still plenty exhausted though and seem to have something going on nearly every day after work again this week. All I want to do is crawl into bed. But I think that also has a lot to do with the fact that my period is about to start, so I'm just emotional, headachy and tired. And I probably need to start cooling it on all the boozing. That seems to be what I do with everyone, grab drinks. Summer is just like that I suppose.

I watched this terrible movie called Fling the other night about open relationships. Seems like every movie is going to demonize the lifestyle, or make it more fucked up and sordid than it really is. Oh, and pretty much no one used protection in it. Everyone I know who is poly is pretty strict about protection and getting tested. We're not just a bunch of sex-crazed degenerates.

I'm interested in checking out the new Showtime Polyamory reality show, though I don't really like most reality tv at all. It looks like it could either be interesting or exploitative. I'm worried it's possibly the latter. Still worth watching I suppose.

I think I'm going to tell my mom about all this. Not sure how she'll react. So far, people try hard to act like it's not a big deal, but it seems like they're a little shocked. Or they really just don't care. I think she could go either way, honestly. Maybe it won't be a big deal. Let's hope.

Cheating Celebrities

After becoming poly, I can't help but think sometimes that this would be a much better lifestyle for a lot of people. Like celebrities for instance? Because THEY BE CHEATIN'.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/25/kristen-stewart-apologizes-cheating-robert-pattinson_n_1702836.html?utm_hp_ref=entertainment&ir=Entertainment

Yeah, I get that it would be an even weirder headline for Kristen Stewart to come out as poly, but at least then it wouldn't be the scandal of the season to sleep with someone else other than your boyfriend. I'm glad I can follow my heart and not have to make apologies or feel guilty after.